That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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