Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
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For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
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Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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