I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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