Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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