Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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