You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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