do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize