Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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