she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
