I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
