I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
