How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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