She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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