oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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