he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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