After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
