Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
