Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
