She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
