Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
