Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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