Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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