I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
