Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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