It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
