I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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