I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
