You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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