hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
