He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
