Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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