I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
