You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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