I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
