i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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