i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize