we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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