just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize