Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
