I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i think i just lost a toe
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize