please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
