call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she told me i tasted like america
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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