Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
