I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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