did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
