i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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