I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
