I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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