who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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