I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
