To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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