im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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