D3 body, D1 cock
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
