So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
