She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
