he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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