Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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