my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
