I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
